Armaggedon ch4 Chapter Four
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"I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M DOING THIS. I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE I'M DOING THIS. I
DON'T BELIEVE..."

"So you keep saying. Come on, Moby. What's so bad about it? You're being
a big help."

"IT'S SO EMBARRASSING. LIKE I'M ONE OF THOSE TRUCKS THE FIREPERSONS USE.
YOU KNOW. THOSE TRUCKS THAT CARRY WATER TO PLACES WITHOUT HYDRANTS OR
SOMETHING."

"No you're not. You're our friend and you're helping us, that's all. We
really appreciate it, don't we Jim?"

"Yeah, we really do. This place is cleaner already. Danielle got rid of
the mice and rats. Now we're getting rid of all the dirt. Hey, Naomi.
What are you doing?"

"Well, as soon as the floors are cleaner, Tictic and Toctoc and I are
going to start scrubbing down the walls and cabinets and things like
that."

"Why are you tying cleaning rags to their feet, Mom?"

"I put wax on the rags. They're going to skate around on the floors to
polish them."

"Well, hey! Give me some of those cleaning rags. I want to polish the
floors, too. Come on, Tic and Toc!"

"Chirp!"

"Chirp!"

"Prrrrp!"

"Me too, Daddy Blair!"

"Yeah! You too, Serendipity. Come on, Danielle."

"Kids! Lucky we're too adult and dignified. Right, Naomi?"

"Right!"

"So... how many cloths you got left?"

"Just enough for us."

"Good. Let's hit the floors."

"Last one there is a rotten egg."

************************************************

"Wheeee!"

"Cheeeep!"

"Prrrrrrrp!"

"Jiiiiiiim! Look ooouuuut!"

"Caught ya, Chief."

"Whoa. Let's take a time out. Find a wall to lean against. The floors
look pretty good, don't they?"

"Yup. Have for some time, actually. By the way, I thought you were
tired?"

"Was. Then I wasn't. Now I am again. But I think I can rustle us up some
furniture. Beds for everyone, at the very least."

"You sure, Sandburg? I don't want you to wear yourself out. We can stand
one more night roughing it."

"I can't, Jim-Love. We need a touch of civilization. I can do this much.
Then we'll have a good night's sleep. I want to make love to you in a
real bed for a change. Let's go pick out our bedroom."

"Got any preferences for yourself?"

"There's a room on the third floor, with a balcony...."

"Me too."

"How about a King-sized bed? And a furry rug for the floor?"

"What more do we need?"

"Well... a few other supplies. But we brought some with us."

"Yeah. Haven't had the chance to use them much, so far."

"Here's your chance."

**************************************************

"You like the bed, Serendipity?"

"Oh! My own room and my own bed. Like a grown up."

"Like a real Warrior, Sweetheart. You need anything else let us know,
okay? Naomi's room is just down the hall, and we're just upstairs, so
don't worry."

"I won't. Goodnight Daddy Jim, Daddy Blair."

"Goodnight, Sweetheart."

"Night.... You know Jim, this room down here would make a great Library.
I'll have to materialize some books first thing tom... Mmmpphh."

"Tomorrow is the operative word here, Chief. Let's hit the hay."

"Great idea. But you know we should...ooof! Hey! Caveman Jim! There's no
need to get all primal on me."

"Says you. Less talk. More action."

"Okay. Oooof. Ah. This mattress is really comfortable. I think I'll take
it home with me when we... mmmmppphhh."

*****

"Jim-Love?"

"Mmmmm. Sweet."

"So... do you think you'll really be happy here?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"Well, it wasn't what you signed on for when we went on vacation. I mean
we're stuck here for two years, on a tiny island. You can't do your job,
or..."

"Sure I can. A Sentinel protects his or her Tribe. I have a Tribe to
protect, like I did in Peru, or in Cascade. Just a different Tribe,
that's all."

"True. So you won't be, well, bored?"

"Bored? With you around? To say nothing of the rest of my Tribe."

"PUURRRP?"

"What was that?"

"Sounded like a cat. A big cat."

"PUUURRRRP! PURR PRRRP."

"Good Grief. It's Danielle. She says it was all those mice and rats she
ate. Made her grow really big. Now she's a Lioness. What next?"

"You asking me, Chief? I'm just going with the flow."

************************************************

:: good morning ::

"Um. Back to slep."

:: sorry ::

"Um. Jim? That you?"

"Uggghh!"

"Well someone said somethin'. Woke me up!"

:: sorry ... it's me ::

"Who's me?"

:: me ... you're living in me ... i thought you would want a wake up
call ... sorry ::

"Stop 'pologizin'. Jus' little early. Can't think yet. Back to slep."

"Yeah, Chief. Back to slep."

:: i'll call you in one hour ::

"Mmmm."

**************************************************

:: good morning? ::

"Um. Yeah. I guess. Better than last time anyway."

:: good... ::

"Who are you? Exactly?"

:: me... you are living in me... i am... everywhere... ::

"O - kay. That's a help."

:: good... is there anything you need? ::

"Need? Well, um... books. Books would be nice. Can't ever have too
many books!"

"That's a matter of opinion, Chief."

"Be quiet, Jim. It was my opinion that was solicited. Wait for your
turn."

***********************************************

"No really, Jim. There is no such thing as too many books. I think this
is the room, here. I asked for a room filled with books. Ah! I can't
wait. Okay, here goes. Ta da! …… Ahhhggghhh! Ow. Ow. Ow. Oh no! I didn't
mean THAT filled with books. Okay, what we have here is a failure to
communicate. By 'a room filled with books', I did not mean filled from
floor to ceiling so that they tumble out on top of me when I open the
door. Stop laughing Jim, I'm warning you. This magic business is more
complicated than I ever imagined possible. Let's try again. How about if
we put all these wonderful books into a bigger room, arranged on book
SHELVES? How's that? Hello?"

:: sorry... i didn't understand... sorry... ::

"Hey! No problem. My expressed wishes were... subject to
misinterpretation, as here we see. I will endeavour to do better in the
future. Don't get all broken up about it. You're doing just great."

:: thank you... you are very kind... i make a lot of mistakes...sorry ::

"Oh dear.... What, Jim?"

"Another lost orphan, with an inferiority complex. You're getting quite
a collection, Chief."

"Oh, don't worry. You're still my prize exhibit."

*****

"Right. Here's the new Book Room. Book Room, the Next Generation. Ahem.
Jim? You with me, here?"

"Go ahead, Chief. Just open the door. This isn't brain surgery."

"Your opinion, again.... Oh, boy! Well... this is an improvement. We're
getting there. Really. Um... one little thing I might mention... (Stop
laughing, Jim. I mean it!) ... it helps if there is room between the
shelves so that people can get in to look at the books. Also, the books
should, um, be placed on end, like this... see? That way, you can see
what the book is called, and find the one you're looking for. It's
harder when they're stacked up on top of each other, like this.
Otherwise, you're doing great. Really."

:: sorry... i keep making mistakes... i am trying... ::

"We know. We know. This is hard work, but we're getting there. Jim? Why
don't you, um, take Danielle for a walk, or something?"

"Trying to get rid of me, Sandburg?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. I'll go see about breakfast. I'll call you when it's ready. There
is such a thing as food, remember? Don't get lost in here."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Let's try again. We need an even bigger room,
now. The books seem to be multiplying. Where are they all coming from?"

*************************************************

"Things are looking good. There! Not bad. The chairs and tables are
great, too. And the fireplace and rug. Mmmm. Always wanted my own
Library, with a fireplace and rug!"

:: then... you'll stay? ::

"Well, we have no choice right now, seeing as how we're hiding out from
Intergalactic Terrorists. But, sure, this is really nice, so we'll keep
you."

:: thank you... what are intergalactic terrorists?::

"Um... bad guys, from another planet."

:: oh no... not again... this can't happen again ::

"What? Intergalactic Terrorists have been to Earth before?"

:: i don't know anything about intergalactic terrorists... but a bad
person came here before and killed the ones living in me... the ones in
my care... they died... it was my fault... and now it's going to happen
again ::

"No, no, no! That wasn't your fault. It was the fault of the bad
person who did it. Never you. And don't worry. We're hiding out here on
the Spirit Plane, in the Mists of Time. The Bad -- the Intergalactic
Terrorists can't find us here. We're safe. All of us."

:: truly? ::

"I swear."

:: then you are safe... and you'll stay... do you need more books? ::

"Not yet. This is plenty for now. Why don't we furnish the Living Room?
How's that sound?"

:: yes ::

***********************************************

"So. Mom. How did you like the way the Palace and I decorated the Living
Room? If you don't like anything, just change it."

"Everything is fine, Honey. Now, you didn't bring me way out here to
talk about Interior Decorating, did you?"

"You're right, Mom. Just starting a potentially difficult conversation
off on an easy note. Um. I just wanted to remind you that... that...
well, that..."

"That Jim belongs to you."

"Yeah. Essentially, Jim belongs to me."

"Blair Sandburg, I did not raise you to own other people. But I'll let
that pass for now. You don't have to worry."

"Mom, I know you don't really believe in monogamy, but Jim and I are
monogamous, so try and make allowances for our failings, as you see it.
I understand this will be difficult for you. We'll be here two years,
and there's no one here for you to have fun with, that way. But we're
living in such close quarters here. If we start... "

"Blair, I said you have nothing to worry about."

"Well, why not? It's not like Jim isn't good looking enough for you. Is
it?"

"Oh, perfectly good looking enough. It's not that. It's just that I'm
not interested in sex right now."

"Go on! Mom? You okay?"

"I'm fine, dear. This happened the last time, too."

"The last time... what?"

"The last time I was pregnant."

"...................."

"Blair? Did you hear what I said? I said I'm..."

"Pre...pre...pre..."

"Preg - nant, Dear. The word is preg - nant."

"But... why? I mean... how? I mean..."

"Oh, honestly. Men! Even the ones you think you've raised to be
half-ways intelligent! Blair, Honey. How do you think I got pregnant? It
happened the usual way."

"Yes. But. Why? I thought you were being careful. I mean, I happened
thirty years ago."

"Exactly! I thought I couldn't have any more."

"Any more what, Naomi?"

"Children, Jim. I'm pregnant."

"Yeah, Jim. I'm going to have a little brother or sister. Isn't that
amazing?"

"O my god! Another Blair Sandburg. Can the world take it?"

*****

"So... um, Mom? You got any idea who the father is?"

"Yes, actually. This does not leave the Island. It was Prince Charles."

"WHO? Oh, Mom! You're joking, right? Please say you're joking!"

"No. Not really. It was a little triumph, I thought. I have no feelings
for him, beyond admiring his body. But I'm sure better looking than
Camilla."

"Oh. Mom. That's so... shallow of you."

"I know. But they're shallow people. So it suited the occasion. Anyway,
I'm pretty sure he's the father. Not completely."

"So, there's hope for the poor kid yet?"

"Yes, Dear."

"Well, what are we going to do, now? I mean, we cannot possibly leave,
what with Intergalactic Terrorists after us, but there's no hospital
here. "

"Blair, I didn't have you in a hospital."

"But there was one available. Here we have no choice. And there's no
Midwife."

"That's worse.'

"Ahem. I was a Midwife, in my former life, before I became the Spirit of
the Jade Palace."

"I took a course in delivering babies in emergencies. All cops do."

"Well, now everything's fine. See, Honey. Nothing to worry about. I'll
just go and get a snack. I'm feeling hungry. See you later."

"So, Chief... no worries."

"No. Except that Mom isn't exactly a young woman. She's not old, but a
little old to be having babies. I can't help worrying, Jim. I love her
more than anyone, except for you and Serendipity."

"Then I'll worry too."

********************************************

"Hi, Serendipity. Can we talk for a minute?"

"Of course, Naomi. What's up?"

"Well, I just wanted you to know, so you won't be surprised when I get
big. I'm pregnant. I just took a home pregnancy test, and it's positive.
So in, oh, seven months, you'll have an aunt or uncle."

"Oh. Cool! If you need any help, just ask me."

"That's wonderful, Dear. I'll certainly do that. You will really be more
like a big sister than anything else."

"Yes. That will be fun. I need to grow up fast. So just call me if you
need someone to keep the Egg warm!"

**********************************************

"What do you think about my Mom having a baby, Jim?"

"Well, Chief, it's not really my place to say."

"Oh, go on! You never let that stop you before."

"True. Okay, I agree it's a bit dangerous at her age, under these
conditions. However, we are in the Spirit Realm, and we haven't even
begun to tap its resources."

"Yeah. And Mom's a Witch. I'm a Sorcerer. Who knows what we can do."

"Right."

"But I wondered what you thought about having a sister or brother in
law. After all, like you said... another me...."

"Chief. I was just being my usual snarky self. It'll be wonderful having
another you around. I'm not so sure about the Prince Charles connection.
But I guess I can live with it."

"Don't worry, Daddy Jim. You won't have to. Prince Charles isn't the
father. One of my people is!"

************************************************

"Okay! Now we're all together, let's have the whole story, Sweetheart!"

"Well, Daddy Jim, it's like this.... Remember I told you my father's
people interbred with other species to create slave armies? I'm the
result of one such experiment."

"But... Serendipity... are you sure? I don't remember mating with any
Alien! I'm sure I would remember. I'm not that flaky!"

"And why do this at all? Some overwrought Sci-Fi plan to take over
Earth?"

"Exactly, Daddy Blair! I know how it sounds, but it's not so crazy
by my people's standards. I told you that defeating an enemy by using
superior weapons is against their code of honour, in most cases. Also,
it's boring and messy. They've done this for millennia, and built a huge
empire, with little effort on their part. Naomi, you may have been in a
trance, and not known what was happening. Or the man may have looked
like someone you know."

"Prince Charles!"

"Possibly. The method doesn't matter; the results do. How do you feel?"

"How do I feel?! How do you think I feel? Furious! Disgusted! Sickened!
Violated! Cheated! I thought it really was Charles!"

"But do you feel anger toward the baby? It's going to be part human,
part Zenathian, and partly of my father's people. The baby will be born
from an egg, and look like a dragon..."

"And it will be MY dragon baby, not HIS slave!"

"Good! Now I wonder how all the other women will feel?"

"Other women? Other women?''

"Oh, yes, Naomi. Believe me, if this has been done to you, it's been done to other women. There may be hundreds of eggs out there, waiting to be born, or to hatch."

"Hundreds? Eggs? Hatch?"

"Yes, Daddy Blair. Army. Defeat. Slaves. That's the… the equation. That's how it all works. We have to do something, or we'll all be facing a terrible future."

"You're a bit depressing for one so young."

"I know. I can't help it, Naomi. I'm just a little girl inside, really. I want to run around and play with my toys, and dream of meeting my true love one day. But we have to face reality. In a few months, the eggs will hatch. The army will rise up. Terror will rule. There will be riots in the streets of every city on Earth. Death, destruction and despair."

"Oprah will love that."

"We can tune in via Moby Dick, Mom."

"No! You people aren't listening. You don't understand. This isn't a… a media event. It's our future, unless we stop it."

"Well, of course we're going to stop it."

"Thank you, Daddy Jim. A warrior understands. We can't give in."

"No, we can't. We're facing the Apocalypse. Armageddon. And no one else knows it. And how can we warn anyone? They'd think we were insane."

"Maybe we are. Insane, I mean."

"Listen to you all. Apocalypse? Armaggedon! You're all ready to fight a war, before the Aliens have even shown up and declared their intentions."

"I know their intentions, Daddy Blair. I have the whole sad history, here inside my brain."

"But Serendipity, you can't know. You can't know everything. All that history has been placed inside your mind, I believe you. But you can't know it for certain. You can't judge people based on such information. It's called prejudging. It's dangerous."

"I'm… I'm sorry, Daddy."

"Sandburg, Serendipity is trying to help us."

"I know. I'm sorry too, Sweetheart. It's not that I don't trust you, and I'm not angry at you. But we can't go on planning a war, until we know all the facts. And… and this is like something out of Doctor Strangelove. We should watch that movie, next. Look, I just have to get some fresh air. I'll be right back."

"Daddy?"

"Blair?"

"It's okay, Naomi, Serendipity. I'll go talk to him. We'll work this out."

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