After Long Silence

Silence

**************************************
Speech after long silence, it is right,
All other lovers being estranged or dead...
young we loved each other and were ignorant.

W.B. Yeats
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'Here you go, Mr. Hutchinson.'

The cute little blonde behind the counter, handed Hutch his order. He imagined Starsky snorting in derision, and making comments about eye of newt and toe of frog. The thought made him homesick again. He hurried out of the health food store, and started down the street to his parked car.

An unmarked police car was now parked right behind it. Hutch could still spot them a mile away. It was blue, at least, and not red. But the two young detectives discussing their case on the sidewalk beside it were a low blow to his stomach.

One was dark. One was blond.

Were they ever that young? It was hard to remember now, on Christmas Eve, 2002. Hutch put his parcels in the back seat of his old, beaten-up car. Starsky would make some comment about the car not making it to 2003.

Hutch wondered if he had enough booze to make it through the Christmas season after all. But it was getting late. The stores would be closing soon. And he wasn't so desperate as to seek out the open-all-night-even-on-Christmas-Eve liquor stores. Was he?

He drove home, through the rush of shoppers racing to get to their families, or to parties with friends. Hutch had friends. It wasn't like he was all alone in the world. He could seek out Huggy Bear at his newest restaurant, for a start.

God. He could call Starsky. It was Christmas Eve. He could call and say Merry Christmas. Listen to that beloved voice say Merry Christmas back. Listen to romantic music in the background. Listen to Starsky's latest girlfriend wondering who was calling. Starsky explaining it was Hutch. You remember Hutch, don'tcha? My old partner. Yeah. We'll all have to get together some time. You call back, Hutch. Gotta go.

The distance felt less when it wasn't being rubbed in his face. Starsky had been right, anyway. They needed to make a break, after they retired. Couldn't go on living in each other's pockets. They needed lives. Life partners, not work partners. Maybe it was a little too late to have kids now, but they could have relationships.

Hutch stared at the phone. He picked up the receiver and punched in Starsky's number, then hung up before the phone could ring at the other end.

Forget this shit. Just go to see him.

Hutch grabbed a bottle of wine, and a box of candy he'd gotten as a gift from someone or other. It was still wrapped in pretty red and white paper. He tore off the tag and added his own. To David and... Hope. That was her name. Hope.

Well, one couldn't live without hope.

***************************

There was a menorah in the front window, though it was a bit past Chanukah. Christmas lights in the other windows. It was just like Starsky to go all out.

Hutch had been sitting in his car for ten minutes, and it was getting cold. Time to make up his mind. Why was it so difficult? Starsky was his oldest and dearest friend. So dear. Life was Hell without seeing him every day. He picked up his gifts and got out of the car. The door opened as he reached it.

'Ah. Finally decided to come in?'

'Starsky?'

'I'm not so old and decrepit that I don't know someone's sitting in their car out front casing my joint. Specially if that someone is you. Get in, it's cold out.'

Hutch walked in, casually, looking around for Hope to join in the welcome. He had his little speech ready, about how he just wanted to bring them some Christmas cheer, and couldn't stay long.

Starsky seemed to be alone. He didn't comment on this fact, so Hutch decided to ignore the topic as well.

'Here. I'll take your coat. Come on, Hutch. Gimme your coat. Have a seat. Stay a while.'

'I... I just....'

'You just dropped by. I know. Like you just happened to call, and then hang up before I could answer.'

'The phone didn't ring.'

'Did at this end. It bugged me, so I checked on who'd called. I called back, but there was no answer. Guess you'd already left.'

'Decided to come see you, instead.'

'That's cool. Have some nuts?'

'Thanks. Look, Starsky. I don't know what your plans are for tonight.'

'Was gonna get drunk.'

'Me too. But now I'm thinking, why don't we see a movie?'

'Movie?'

'Yeah, Starsky. Movie. Like TV, only on a great big screen, and you have to go to a special theatre to watch it with dozens of other people.'

'Sounds dangerous.'

'It's fun. Want to try it?'

'I'll try anything once.'

********************************

'It was too short,' announced Starsky. An assortment of other movie-goers, aged anywhere from 8 to 80, apparently agreed with him, judging by their nods and smiles, and murmurs of approval.

'How are we gonna live through the next year? They shoulda released all three movies at once. Released it as one movie.'

'A nine hour movie? Starsky, no one could sit through a nine hour movie.'

'Better than all this sufferin'. But you're right. It wouldn't've worked. And the anticipation is fun. Gives you somethin' to look forward to, ya know?'

'Yeah.'

'And it's not that I don't know what happens in the end. I just wanna see it.'

'Me too. I think I'm gonna cry, though.'

'I know I'm gonna cry. Still, I can't wait. Shelob. The Battle of Pelennor Fields. Mount Doom.'

'The Grey Havens.'

'Yeah. The Grey Havens. That's gonna be heartbreaking.'

They'd reached Starsky's car. It was almost midnight, now, as they'd gone to the 8:30 showing, and the movie had been three hours long.

'What did'ya think about Faramir? I'm not sure I know why they changed his character,' Hutch asked as they drove off.

'Hmm. Drama. They had to change the story a little, because they couldn't put in everything. All that talking and eating in the caves doesn't make for good drama on the screen.'

'Yeah. But it makes his character less heroic.'

'Not necessarily, Hutch. Is someone heroic if they've never been tested? Probably Faramir was tested in his past, but we wouldn't see that, would we? They had to show us. Now we know he can be tempted, but resist in the end.'

'I see. That makes him a real person. Worthy of Eowyn's love.'

It was good to be together like this, again. Alone. Starsky driving, carrying them to some mysterious destination in the future. Starsky's hands, slender and powerful, turning, turning the wheel of time. Hutch put his head back against the seat and closed his eyes. This peace and happiness wouldn't last long. Better enjoy it, before it was snatched away. Again.

'Hutch?'

'Mmm?'

'We're here. Wanna come in for a drink?'

'Oh. Yeah. Sure. Okay.'

'Were you asleep? Sorry.'

'No. I was just day dreaming.'

'About the movie. Me too. Been thinkin' about Sam, ya know? About how he does all that for Frodo. For love. Then the end is so sad.'

'But they do get together again, Starsk.'

'Way off in the future. Think they'll show us that scene in the movie?'

'Probably not. Tolkien never really describes it, does he?'

'No. It's a bit unfair. Sam and Frodo were... best friends.'

'Partners.'

'Yeah. We should get to see them reunited.'

Starsky opened the door. Hutch hesitated for a moment on the threshold. He felt awkward, suddenly, as he rarely had with his partner. But they were partners no longer. Like Sam and Frodo, they had been separated by time, and a grey mist.

'Come in, Hutch. What'cha doin' standing in the doorway?'

Starsky turned to him, laughing, and holding out his hand. He looked young again, when he smiled like that. Hutch felt dizzy for a moment, as if he'd fallen back through time, crashed through that grey curtain.

He stepped over the threshold, into Starsky's waiting arms. Starsky pulled him close. 'Look up,' he said.

Hutch looked up. There were Christmas garlands decorating the little foyer area. Nestled among the garlands was a sprig of mistletoe.

Hutch laughed, and bent to kiss Starsky, teasingly. Starsky's lips opened under his own.

'Hutch,' he gasped. Hutch pulled back, a little, and looked into his friend's face. His dearest friend on earth looked back at him, eyes filled with longing.

'Hutch?' Starsky said, again. It sounded like begging, which was unbearable. Hutch bent his lips to Starsky's. They wrapped their arms around each other, and the grey mist parted to reveal white shores, and a far green country.

*** The End ***

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